In 
coaching sessions, clients often discuss struggles or frustrations they’re experiencing. Struggling is characterized by that feeling of trying to place a round peg in a square hole. It’s a stressful place to be. It’s also energy draining, time consuming, and it distracts you from the goals you’re working on.
From Struggle to Acceptance
Struggle is your response to whatever is occurring. You want so badly for things to be different you’re unwilling to surrender to what is. Whatever your situation be it difficulties with your kids or spouse or a job where no one listens to your ideas, there’s something you’re not accepting and you’re pushing up against it, willing it to be the way you think it should be that’s causing your distress.
Stop. Be still. And breathe. Take some time to simply be with yourself and ask yourself how things would be different if you were to just accept that this is the way it is. You don’t have to like it; it just is. Stop fighting reality. Once you accept the event, person, or situation as being exactly the way it is – like it or not – you can make better decisions as to how to respond and where you want to go from here.
The Choice is Yours
Often people think that they have no choices; that’s not true – there’s always a choice. You may not like your choices but that’s something else entirely.
Read more…
Your partner for success,
Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success
PS – Want to eliminate struggle in your life? Schedule a free 30-minute coaching session to learn how coaching can benefit you. Why struggle any longer? Unless you enjoy the struggle…
You SAY you want to lose weight, be less stressed, change jobs or improve your relationship with your spouse. You SAY this change would add value to your life, make you healthier, richer, happier… You need to do something because as things are, you are not happy and you know life could be better than this.
But are you READY to change?
You tell yourself you need to do this. You tell others too. People are tired of hearing it! And so are you.
But wanting something, even realizing “why” this is important to you, isn’t enough to do the work. You must be ready, willing and able to give up what you have for something better. Only then will you do whatever it takes to follow through and make it happen.
Although you want something different, you may not be at the point where you are willing to commit to change. This is why you keep talking about it, wanting it, dreaming about it but are not taking the steps needed to make the change. You are not ready to commit.
When you are committed, then you are ready. Until you are committed, you are still contemplating, dreaming, wishing…
It is okay to dream and wish for better things. We need to do that in order to identify areas in which we are not satisfied. When we become aware, we can then make different choices to create something different for ourselves.
Dreaming and wishing, however, does not mean that you are READY to actually embark upon the change. It simply means you are, well, dreaming.
People who seek out a coach are ready. They want something better and they are ready to do something about it.
You may not, however, know HOW to change or what, exactly, you WANT. But you know that where you are right now ISN’T where you want to be anymore and you are READY to DO SOMETHING about it.
If you are not acting on your desire to change, perhaps you are not ready.
Acknowledge that. Don’t fight with yourself about it. Be okay with it. It’s a great place to be. It doesn’t mean anything. It means you are HERE, not THERE on your journey.
Instead of beating yourself up or wishing and hoping for change, focus on GETTING READY.
Three strategies will help you to GET READY FOR CHANGE:
1) Accept your current reality as it is. Eliminate denial. Stop avoiding, minimizing, or making excuses for how bad it is or how unhappy you are. FACE REALITY AS IT IS. If you cannot face reality, there is no reason to change it.
2) You will be motivated to move away from pain or toward pleasure. People change ONLY when there is great impetus to do so. You must believe that your current reality is so bad that you can no longer stand it. You must be completely fed up! OR you can focus your thoughts on the pleasure you will experience when you have changed.
3) Surrender. Getting ready means preparing your inner world – your mind – for letting go of its attachment to your current habits, routine, comfort zone and identity. You must become willing to let go of it all in order to embrace and create a new life – a new YOU.
To be ready for change means you are willing to become someone new. And since you only know how to be who you are now and do the things you do, everything needs to be different. You need to learn new tools for living in order to achieve the change you want to make.
Being ready ONLY asks that you are willing and prepared to begin; it is okay for you to not know how to proceed – at least, at first. That will come.
First, get ready. And if you’re not ready for change, focus your energies on getting ready.
Your partner for change,
Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success
PS Want to change something in your life? Learn how hiring a coach can help you achieve great results in less time. Schedule a free session today to learn more. You’re worth it.
Having trouble accepting your current reality? This will absolutely interfere with your ability to succeed at change.
Think about it, if you cannot accept who you are AS you are today, how can you expect to plot a course for change?
Barb at the bank stated that she likes to be able to eat whatever she wants. “If I see it and I want it, I want to be able to have it.” She has been on a soup diet the last few months which, she says, is working; but, she admits, she is getting bored.
“This is not me. I was always very skinny.” Now in her thirties, she still envisions herself as the teen and twenty-something who could easily eat whatever whenever and keep a little figure.
But that is not her reality today.
Accepting where you are right now is a key element for success. Do not judge yourself by a standard or system that worked years ago. If it is not working, you need to accept that and THEN make choices that honor the person you are today.
For example, Barb may very well have been able to eat whatever she likes…but not anymore. She is older and, if she indulges h
er impulses, she will continue to gain weight.
Wishing and hoping for the past to continue into today is like living in fantasy-land; it won’t get you where you want to go. It only brings you:
- anger that you are no longer enjoying what you used to be able to enjoy,
- disappointment over life’s twists and turns, and
- frustration at your seemingly powerless position.
Living in the past doesn’t change the past OR the present; it makes you feel miserable, unhappy and will not serve you to create the future you desire.
Accept your current reality. This is where your power lies. Where you ARE may not be where you WANT to be. That’s fine. It is your starting point; it doesn’t matter where that is.
We are taking baby steps forward on a new path, starting a new life, and creating change that feels good and brings us joy and fulfillment.
Castles were not built in a day; we will lay one brick at a time.
Your partner for CHANGE,
Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success
PS- Need strategies and support for creating change in your life? Schedule a free coaching session to learn how coaching can help you succeed. What are you waiting for? Life won’t wait.
For our wedding Lou and I asked people to share poems, passages or to write something that they would be willing to share with us about love, marriage, family…
People shared some beautiful thoughts and poems – which I will share with you in future posts.
At night, after the wedding, Lou asked me why we didn’t write something to each other. We had been focusing on our nuptuals. He had difficulty sleeping and when he got up in the morning, he wrote this to me about our journey together – his first poem ever! Who knew he could write so beautifully? I have a feeling there is much more to him…
Let me know your thoughts. Enjoy -
Your partner for success,
Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success
~*~
US
Kids
Children going to school
A friendship is made
Parents
Meeting on a playground
A friendship is born
Trust
Earned as sleepovers come and go
years pass as days go by
Death. Divorce …Change
One moves, another further
Friendship dormant, but never forgotten
Life goes on
Fate
Friendships missed
A knock on the door, one afternoon
Lunch
Friendships strengthened
Realizations revealed
The night my world changed
Thoughts
In my dreams
In my arms
The line is broken
Friendship becomes something more
Is this true
Years pass
Love breaks through
Families unite
Time progresses
The question asked
Rings bought
Finally
The day comes
A day to remember
Me
Confident and successful
You
Confident and successful
US
Forever more
To the love of my life
The path to happiness doesn’t start with a great job, the right spouse, or material objects – although these things do add to your enjoyment of life.
“Happiness is an inside job.”
Happiness is ONLY possible when you feel good about yourself from the INSIDE…when you feel worthy, deserving, and are accepting and compassionate with yourself: When you take CARE of yourself first and foremost and make choices that respect and honor you.
This means building a foundation upon which everything else becomes meaningful – including extrinsic rewards.
Without a solid foundation, life falls apart. You struggle. You have more stress and sleepless nights. You worry and are anxious. You experience more problems and have more difficulties. You wonder why life is so hard and why things are not working the way you want them to. You are pushing rather than enjoying.
And inside you know there must be a better way to live. You are often waiting for the “shoe to drop” so to speak.
When you build your life on a house of cards, then that is exacly what you will experience: FEAR and worry that any minute the house will come tumbling down.
Much like building a house, there are several elements required before you would go out and buy furniture or paint. You first need to build a strong foundation without which it would be pointless to attempt to put up walls and a roof.
The same is true with we humans. We first need to build a solid foundation upon which everything else is added.
Our foundation begins to develop when we reach adulthood. But it doesn’t stop; we often just forget to pay it the attention it requires. You have a strong foundation, when you:
- know and live your values
- live on healthy energy sources and give up your addiction to adrenaline
- give up your addiction to drama and to problems – raise your personal standards
- manage your needs and make direct requests to get them met
- create strong boundaries
- live in integrity
- eliminate what you are tolerating
- clear unresolved issues – including key family relationships
- live in the present
- have a positive attitude about life
Whenever you find yourself stressed or are dissatisfied with or stressed about something in your life, often if you go back to the basics, you’ll discover that your foundation that is weak and requires attention.
How can you strengthen your foundation? Choose one area and start making changes to improve.
I have several assessments on the website to assist you or you can contact me for more.
Integrity is a great place to start. Identify where you might be out of integrity and start fixing that. You’ll feel so much better and you’ll be able to sleep at night! Which helps you to think more clearly…
As you improve one area, you will start to see how other areas are connected.
In our quest for change including the quest to lose weight, or whether you are seeking employment, getting promoted – whatever change you want to make, come home to your foundation and seeks ways to strengthen this first.
By taking responsibility for your personal development, you start to build a foundation that is strong and that can withstand life’s challenges. You stop looking outside yourself for love and acceptance; you start to respect and honor yourself.
And this is where TRUE happiness is found: by knowing that you are doing the right things for yourself and taking care of the basics, you lay a strong foundation upon which you can build great things.
Your partner for success,
Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success
PS – Want help building a strong foundation? Schedule a free coaching session to learn more about the four-month individual coaching program.
