All of us can relate to feelings of fear especially when they are born from thoughts about change that is out of our control.

This fear is created in your mind from thoughts that craft the worst case scenarios. Your imaginary center goes wild constructing dramatic stories about a potential – and often negative – outcome. There is no fact to the story; it’s a fantasy. In choosing to give this thought process your attention, fear erupts within you as you anticipate this outcome becoming your future reality. Then you experience the “fight or flight” phenomenon and this physiological reaction makes it feel so real.

But it’s not real. It’s a story concocted in your mind. Your mind is playing tricks on you.

Stop. Step back from your thoughts and look at the facts. What do you know and what is unknown? You can succumb to the fantasy created by your untamed mind OR you can decide to embrace reality and take control by making good choices about what you would like to see happen and who you’d like to become in the process.

In the case with my client above, he has no idea what this new boss wants or how she feels about being shuffled into this new position. His first step is to be curious about the new boss and to learn what she needs from the manager in order to be successful in her new post. Yes, your job is to help your boss be successful.

Then he can ask for what he wants and needs from his new boss.

By being proactive, my client can set expectations for his new boss as he describes the department and how things work.

Awareness of the emotional reaction and the thoughts causing it is crucial for gaining control. Once you are aware, then you can take a step back and ask how you’d like things to be moving forward. You can craft a new story that focuses on success and identify the role or part you will play in making it reality.

You can expect success and take actions to create that success or you can allow your fear to take over forcing you to shrink, stress out and feel powerless.

Read the entire article here…

To your health and happiness,

Julie Donley, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success by helping you be your best: work through change, lose weight and restore your health

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There is no better advice to live by but to always ‘do the right thing’. This way, you live in peace, you’re less stressed and anxious, your conscience will be clear and you feel good about the choices you make.

Of course, what is the right thing? It depends upon the situation; it may be different depending upon the circumstances.

The right thing is not always the popular thing. It is not always what our friends and family want us to do. But it is what we need to do in order to sleep at night and to feel good about ourselves. There is no one to impress when it comes to doing what is right; we do it because we should and it’s what we need to do.

At the end of the day, you answer ONLY to YOU. And at the end of your life, there is no other human being judging you. YOU judge YOU.

Why, then, would grown men who know better not do the right thing? Why would you continue to permit wrongs be perpetrated against those who are less capable of speaking out? In the case of Penn State, why would anyone allow a person to potentially continue molesting children?

“Why” is often a difficult question to answer. Denial is one reason. People have a very tough time believing that their friend and colleague could perpetuate such a horrific crime against another human being. We hear this quite often of spouses (children, parents or neighbors) of murders who cannot believe the person they love could do such a thing.

It is easy to blow it off and go about life as usual. This is another reason to not get involved – it’s easier to keep your mouth shut and cover things up if you must. After all, it often causes a mess when things become known to the world. Reputations are ruined and life is disrupted. People abhor change; it’s often very challenging and people prefer to avoid and escape (in fantasyland, addictions, TV etc.) than face the situation. They are scared and often don’t want to be involved.

Another reason to do nothing is the idea that if you do nothing, it will just go away.

Well, it doesn’t go away. Molesters, especially, have an extremely high rate of recidivism. Treatment has not been found to be very effective.

This kind of ‘cover up’ happens all the time in a multitude of ways every day – at work, with cheating spouses and with taxes. You may suspect physical or sexual abuse situations, drug abuse and addiction, severe depression, overwhelm or some other mental problem. But they are often just suspicions. It is not easy to know the correct course of action. You don’t want to get someone into trouble; you don’t want to be the mean guy, and you may fear retaliation.

Is there a rule of thumb we could follow?

If you do nothing – hoping someone else will get involved – then you are passing the buck. Each of us have a responsibility to each other. If you do nothing, you give the behavior permission to continue.

Report it and allow an outside, objective third party determine the truth of the allegations.

If it turns out not true, often lives have been ruined and it is hard to pick up and start over. But from every situation there is something to learn and lessons to overcome. That person must grow – and mature – from the experience. Why and how did they put themselves in a position to have this happen? There must be a reason they attracted this into their life. They are still responsible for their life experience.

However, to do nothing when there is good reason to suspect something is wrong, is unacceptable.

When my friend committed suicide recently, all of us asked ourselves ‘what could we have done to help him?’ When there is nothing you could have done, you know you did the right thing.

Of course, that is hindsight. Hindsight is great for judging your actions and for learning how to be more effective in situations moving forward. In the case of my friend, we all approached him and tried to get him help. He refused. There is only so much you can do for others before they must do for themselves.

Sometimes, even when you do the right thing, there can still be bad outcomes.

Other times, the investigation does not turn up enough information to take corrective action. But trust is eroded and the person then needs to rebuild that trust.

How does one live today in a state of grace and do the right thing for self and others to prevent guilt, avoid mistakes and avoid tragedy?

This is the key question. We all want to avoid bad feelings! So, in order to feel good about yourself, your decisions and your life, then here are some steps you can take starting today:

1) Be aware. Don’t keep your head in the sand. Pay attention to your surroundings and to the people around you.

2) If you think to yourself: “What is wrong with this picture?” chances are something is wrong. Check your suspicions with someone else.

3) Don’t turn a blind eye to wrong doing. To know it and do nothing means you are giving the behavior permission. How many of us wished someone could have spoken out BEFORE the Enron fiasco, BEFORE millions were lost with Madoff…? If no one hears you the first time, say it again. Tell someone else. Be bold and take a stand.

The world needs us to STAND FOR SOMETHING. That is the message of the day. Our children need heroes, the kind that fight for what is right – that’s us!

And the less we tolerate, the higher the standards and the less crap we attract. The more we stand for what’s right, the more we teach and learn to do right.

Today, stand for something and do the right thing. You’ll be glad you did.

Julie Donley, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success to be your best, be healthy, live happily.

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Can you relate? It is easy to find ourselves wishing we had more time to take care of ourselves. There are so many things that require our attention. It is easy to believe that there is no way to change, no way things could improve, no way to make a difference. And if you believe that, then you are right. You won’t do anything different. You will continue to tell yourself this is the way it is and nothing will change. You will remain unhappy and wishing, praying, hoping for something different. Years go by and you tell the same story of wishful thinking, sadness and powerlessness.

This way of thinking is a trap. Yes, there are many demands for your time and attention and many of them are important responsibilities. However, there is nothing and no one that deserves your attention more than you. In fact, if you do not give yourself the attention and loving care you need, who will?

“You are the most important person in your life. Without you, what do you have?”

Really, if you don’t take care of your body, it will break down. If you don’t find time to care for yourself and instead put everyone else ahead of you, you will feel resentful and angry. If you don’t take the time to feed your spirit, life will pass you by and you will feel full of regret. Happiness will be elusive and you’ll wish life could be easier and better than this.

Commit to putting yourself first.

Your life depends on it. Your health and well being is dependent upon you taking time from your busyness to care for YOU. Make yourself the priority. YOU come first, then everyone else. When you learn to put the proper value on you and your health and well being, you begin to see that the reasons you say you cannot work out, save money or diet are really excuses. They are ideas, rationalizations and justifications for why you don’t. They may be really good ones and you have believed them for a long time; in order to take charge of your life, decide today that there is something more important. And that something is YOU.

Identify one thing you could do today that would impact you/your health greatly and take a step.

Find one little thing that will be easy and possible for you to do today. It could be something you stop doing, something you do less of. Just one little thing. You can come up with one little thing.

Then tomorrow, come up with another little thing. Take another step toward your health and well being.

Keep it simple. Make it easy.

To your success in health, wealth and love,

Coach Julie RN ~ Nurturing Your Success

Author of the new book: Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.?

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Often, people can become very upset, angry – even irate - when asked for favors; when people at work ask you to do things or to take on projects; when family asks questions that are intrusive; when neighbors ask to borrow; or kids ask you to buy yet another thing they don’t need.

People can ask of you whatever they want; that’s assertiveness. In fact, if you don’t ask the answer is always no. You ask to see if it is possible to get a positive response.

When asked, however, it is up to you to be assertive in your response. Take the time to check in with yourself to determine how you feel and if this is something you want, then speak up with your response.

The other day one of the nurse managers asked if I wanted to try some potato chips. They were buttermilk and herb flavored and people were digging in.

It was nice of him to ask. I felt included. After all, he doesn’t know about my personal quest to lose 50 pounds.

This was a test of will for me. In an instant, several thoughts ran through my mind: but you are on this quest and you would have to enter those points into the Weight Watchers point tracker which would ruin your days’ point allowance. Do you really want to use your points this way?

I said “no thanks”. It was easy; I’m not a big fan of potato chips.

But what felt good was that it was not an automatic response. I didn’t have the need to “fit in” or be nice. I checked in with myself to identify what I really wanted, what was important to me, and then responded. He wasn’t offended. And that was that.

When you get angry that people ask and allow yourself to become emotional, you are focusing on something over which you have no control. It is likely that you will lash out in your anger if your emotions are not tamed.

• You might react with hostility and snap back. Some people are very good at shooting darts with their words.
• You may talk about the person to others, “Can you believe what she asked me to do? What a ^&*#!”
• You may feel that you have no choice but to comply, and then blame the person for asking.
• You may have a need to please or to be liked.

It is not their fault you have these needs. It may seem like they are taking advantage of you; but it is human nature to ask the person they believe will do the work and do it well. Ever hear the saying: Ask a busy person because they will get it done. Then the busy person wonders why they are so incredibly busy, overwhelmed, and stressed out.

Instead of getting angry, be assertive. Start speaking up and saying no.

Being assertive means that you:

• take the time to notice how you feel,
• make a decision that works best for you,
• then speak up in a way that is respectful and appreciative.

You no longer are at the mercy of your needs – or your emotions. You do not act out of obligation or need to comply or please, but rather do what is in your best interest. You honor yourself.

You are polite in your reply. You might express gratitude for the opportunity.

Do NOT apologize. If you decline, be gracious but not apologetic. You are making a choice that affirms YOU. Never apologize for that.

You don’t control what people ask or how they might respond to your reply; you only control you.

Being assertive puts you in the driver’s seat, focusing on what you CAN control (YOU), and giving you the freedom of choice. Taking charge of your time and your responses is empowering. You also gain people’s respect, increase your confidence and are more productive.

Your partner for success,

Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success

PS. Want to learn to be more assertive? Schedule a 30-minute free coaching session to learn how coaching can teach you the skills you need to gain the cooperation and respect of others.

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Do you apologize for things that are completely out of your control?

How about apologizing for other people’s behavior?

Do you tend to apologize just to see if the other person will apologize?

An apology can be a very cathartic act. It can mend fences and build bridges. It is an act of a true leader when you are able to admit a wrong or mistake.

An apology done well is powerful. For this reason, making an apology should be taken very seriously.

When they are thrown around without much thought, they lose their potency. An empty apology does not serve you but rather can diminish the respect others have for you.

Why do we struggle so much with apologies?

1) Some people don’t ever want to admit they are wrong. This relates to their self-esteem, although they might not admit it. Human beings are of greatest value. When a person cannot accept their value, they seek something external to give them the validation they need. Often people’s value is attached to their ideas. To the person whose self-esteem is attached to their ideas, admitting you are wrong means that YOU are wrong and you cannot NOT have value.

2) Other people don’t want to be seen as weak. They don’t want to make a mistake. They seek perfection. To admit fault is to admit failure, in their perspective. They value appearances over truth and humility.

3) And others apologize for everything. Guilt, shame, needing to be liked or needed, or fear of confrontation or conflict causes them to accept responsibility for everything. Their fear is in charge and they are at Fear’s mercy.

How well do you do with apologizing? Here are some dos and don’ts for making an apology:

Read more…

Your partner for success,

Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success

P.S. Want to learn to be a more powerful communicator? Contact me to schedule a free coaching session today to learn how coaching can benefit you.

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Then why did you ask?!

Did you ever have this happen to you? You are talking about your situation and how you feel about it and the other person starts to talk about their own stories, stealing your moment. It’s as if they do not have the space to listen to you; they are only focused on themselves.

And that is the truth. Often, people don’t have the space to truly be empathetic. They care or they want to care – they have compassion – but they do not know how to step into your world without bringing you into theirs.

It has to do with needs and self-esteem. Your self-esteem needs to feel valued and if you don’t have high self-esteem, then you will attempt to get value through other means such as work, ideas, valuables, and your stories. You need attention or to feel important in order to feel that you have value.

You won’t realize you are doing this, however. It takes communication skills and self-awareness to be able to manage through this one.

How do you handle it?

Well, first, pay attention to be sure YOU don’t do this to others. It feels bad. When someone is experiencing pain, you want to be able to listen to them and be with them as they discuss their pain. Turning the conversation to you and your stories is disrespectful and can be hurtful too.

If you tend to do this, just notice when it happens and turn the conversation back to the other person. You can simply say, “Please continue.” Don’t fuss about it. Don’t apologize; just give the stage back to the other person. Keep practicing.

If someone does this to you, realize that they don’t know they are doing it. If you become emotional about it – angry or upset, depending upon your situation at the moment – stop, breathe and realize it is not personal. They are not being mean. But you do need to TAKE CARE of yourself. If this person has needs in this moment, you may not be in a position to deal with them.

TAKE CARE of yourself first.

Asserting yourself means asking for what you need. If you need an ear, ask if they can give that to you. Mention that you prefer to keep this about you.

Or you can simply back off; this person may not be someone who you can share your pain with. Not everyone has the capacity to listen, truly listen to another human being without trying to fix them or without talking about themselves. This is a self-esteem issue for them and, guaranteed, they don’t know it plays out this way or how it impacts others.

Excuse yourself and choose someone else or use a journal. If it seems you have very few people in your life who won’t give advice or tell their stories without just being there to hear what you need to share, then we need to work to improve your community. Your relationships need to support you to be your best and, at your most trying moments, finding someone to listen should be easy, not difficult.

Ultimately, it would be good to advance your personal development to the point where you don’t need anything from the person, where you are able to see fairly quickly that this person does not have the capacity to meet your needs and you can give them the recognition or attention they seem to need in the moment without feeling bothered. You can give it, or not, but either way you are able to manage yourself so gracefully even during a time when you are emotional.

So practice keeping the conversation about the other person and when it is about you, see what happens. Just notice how people struggle in this area.

Identify your needs and ask to have them met safely. Your relationships will improve dramatically and you will feel more empowered.

Your partner for success,

Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success

P.S. Do you struggle with being heard in your relationships? Perhaps hiring a coach would be the perfect solution. Contact me today to arrange a free coaching session and see how coaching can help you achieve your goals.

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Have you guessed it yet? Aretha Franklin sang a song about it. Yup, it’s

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

When people feel respected, they feel valued. And when people feel valued, they feel that they matter, which improves self-esteem. (Self-esteem is the value you see in yourself.)

It also improves how people feel about YOU because they know you care.

Too often, however, people look to GET respect when, in fact, it is your responsibility to GIVE respect. And the most important person to give respect to is YOU.

When you learn to honor yourself, you honor others. When you focus your energies on self-respect, self-love, and making choices that honor you, you naturally treat others with that same level of respect. To do otherwise would be disrespectful to you. And if you are disrespectful to you, you cannot truly respect others.

~ from The Little E-Book of Wisdom

Respect is the foundation for every relationship because if there is no respect, there cannot be trust. And if there is no trust, there really is no relationship.

You do not need to like someone in order to respect them.

Respect means you acknowledge their right to be human, to make mistakes, to have their own thoughts, opinions and ideas.

You acknowledge their right to be different and to have different perspectives – this is what diversity is all about.

It means you separate the person who is wonderful and amazing from their behavior which may not always be so wonderful and amazing.

You recognize that each of us as human beings has the right to be who we are and to develop and grow at our own pace.

Respect means you focus on managing yourself and regulating your emotions and responses so you do not act in ways that are disrespectful and a poor reflection on you. It means you focus on changing yourself and being your best rather than being so focused on what is wrong with others.

More than anything, people want to be respected – they want to feel that they matter – and showing someone respect, which means ‘to admire or value’, makes a person feel that they are valued.

Value someone today. (Value yourself too!)

Give up your burning desire to ‘fix’ them or their problems.

Stop turning the conversation around to your issues or stories and be interested in what the other person has to say. You might learn something new about them.

Be respectful *always* and notice what starts to happen – your relationships will shift and change and you will start to feel people open up. They will start to treat you differently.

Your compassion and respect for individual humanness will create a safe space for people to be themselves. This respect – reverence – love – will open their hearts and allow you to move beyond the fear and self-doubt that creates walls and distance between us and bridge the gap so that together we can create great things.

Your partner for success,

Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success

PS Want to learn more about asserting yourself respectfully? Schedule your free  coaching session today. It will be the best 30-minutes of your day.

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Who – or what – intimidates you?

Interestingly, many people will find themselves intimidated by a particular person such as a boss or person with a particular title – the CEO, COO, CFO, etc. Others feel uncomfortable with a group of people such as doctors, police or any person in uniform. Still others are intimidated by the opposite sex.

This uncomfortable feeling of intimidation causes you to shrink and,  not speak up to the person in a way that is appropriate because of your fear.

• In your daily life, how does this feeling of intimidation show up?
• Are there people you are fearful of?
• Are there certain behaviors that cause you to feel intimidated?
• What happens to you when you interact with them?
  

NOTE: There are those who intimidate on purpose (or try to). Often, however, fear can arise in you by no fault of the other person. YOUR feelings of fear are important for you to become aware of as well as the triggering event that evoked the emotion. Use a journal or your coach to identify circumstances when this occurs.

Notice how this dynamic shows up for you:

• What is it you are fearful of?
• Is it a kind of person?
• Is it how they speak or what they say, the position they hold, the power they have over you/your life?
• Is it a particular situation?
• Or is it simply because the person is so confident and comfortable with themselves?
  

Sometimes, when people have very high self-esteem, you can be intimidated by their energy or self-confidence. It’s not what they do, just how they show up and they may not realize they are intimidating anyone.

Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. So let’s look at what you fear so you can take back your power.

When you feel intimidated, you are OVERVALUING the person, the uniform or another quality. This means that in your perspective, you are undervaluing your own worth and overvaluing something else.

For example, if you are intimidated by your boss, you overvalue the position or title and undervalue her as a human being. If you are intimidated by the opposite sex, you are overvaluing their “sex” and undervaluing you and your ability to speak with and have a relationship with them.

Adults who continue to be intimidated by their parents overvalue them as authority figures. Maintaining the dynamic they created in childhood, the relationship continues as hierarchical giving the parents control where it (hopefully) no longer exists.

Recognize that no person has greater value than any other person – we all have the same value as human beings. Our deeds may seem to increase the value of one’s worth over another, but if we strip down all of the external stuff, essentially, we are all human with a heart, blood, a brain, and emotions.

Working to increase your self-esteem, appropriately value yourself and feel good about who you are in the world will help tremendously to put things in proper perspective and enable you to be more assertive and more comfortable around others.

Then when someone does act in an intimidating fashion, you will be more capable of asserting yourself professionally and teaching others how to communicate with you effectively.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Post your comments below.

Your partner for success,

Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success

P.S. Want to feel less intimidated and fearful and become more assertive and confident? Schedule a free coaching session to discuss practical ways to develop yourself.

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Then there are those who obey out of a need (or compulsion) to comply.

This is known as the “good girl/boy” syndrome. You fear the consequences of not doing exactly as you are told. You are compliant. You do whatever is asked without question and still operate as the “good girl/boy” as an adult. You still ‘color within the lines.’

Do you know what the first word we learn as children is?

Yup, you’re right. It’s “NO.” Yet somewhere along the way, some of us forget how to use it!

Why do you comply?

**Take a moment to consider your response.

• Is it guilt?
• Fear? Fear of consequences or rejection?
• Needing to be liked or “good”?
• Is it habit? You comply without thinking or considering options. Perhaps you never stopped to consider changing your response or didn’t realize you have permission to challenge the request.
• As children, the message we often learn is that we don’t have a choice. We have to obey or else!
• But as an adult, are you still responding this way automatically? It is, after all, how you were programmed to respond. You just kept doing it as the years went by and now, no matter who asks or what they ask of you, you just do as you are told.

What is the impact this behavior has on your life?

• Do you feel people take advantage of you?
• Are you able to complete the things you need to accomplish in a timely manner?
• Do you feel good about yourself? How is your self-esteem impacted?

How does this feel for you?

• Do you feel resentment and anger?
• Do you feel as though you have no time for the things you want to do?
• Do you feel overwhelmed and stressed?
• Do you feel this need to comply is so strong you cannot imagine another way?
• How does it feel to say no? Have you ever denied a request? What was the result?
• What do you gain by complying? There has to be something you gain by doing what you do or else you wouldn’t do it. You may say something like, “People won’t be mad at me.” Or “People will like me.”

You may be ‘avoiding pain’ (fear is a strong motivator) rather than ‘gaining’ something.

Our brains are always seeking value. In your mind this means that ‘avoiding pain’ is of greater value to you than doing what is right or best for you.  In other words, your fear wins the battle.

Do you see how this way of thinking is running your life? You respond to avoid the perceived consequences of your actions should you make a different choice and, therefore, you BELIEVE you have NO choice. You MUST do as you are told.

People who learn to turn down requests quickly discover that lightening did not strike. The world did not end. And people still enjoy them. In fact, they learn that people have greater respect for them when they speak up for themselves. They are also more productive AND they have more fun doing what they enjoy.

YOU TOO can learn to be more selective at responding to requests and be more assertive.

The following steps will get you started:

1) Take yourself OFF automatic. Pay attention to yourself when people make requests of you. What do you feel? What are you thinking? What is the compulsion you have to comply? Where does it come from? Is it from your parents? What was the consequence for non-compliance? Consider what is going on for you at this moment in time.

2) Envision something different. What is your vision for how you would like to be instead?

A vision will help you identify qualities and characteristics that you need to develop. Once you see yourself behaving differently, you can then focus your attention on developing those qualities.

3) Pause before responding. Do not agree right away. Give yourself time – five minutes, an hour, a day – to think it through. Is it something you want to do, your responsibility to do? Do you have the necessary time and resources to complete it given everything else on your plate?

4) Only agree to things that feel right for you – things that are the best use of your time, talents, and ability AND things that you will enjoy.

Changing any habit takes time and practice and learning to be more assertive requires a specific set of *new* skills including a willingness to overcome your fears. So be gentle with yourself.

Your partner for success,

Coach Julie, RN

P.S. Do you need to learn new skills to be more assertive? Contact me to schedule a free 30-minute laser coaching session.

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Nancy reminded her boss that she would be out next week for vacation – the kids are off for Spring Break. Her boss replied that she didn’t use all of her vacation time last year. Nancy makes sure she spends quality time with her family and uses her vacation wisely throughout the year.

Nancy started thinking about her boss and how she works a LOT of hours and started to become concerned that perhaps her boss expects her to work more hours as well. She is now somewhat fearful that this might impede the promotion she is seeking.

When others don’t use or take regular vacations, it can feel like there are unwritten and unspoken expectations that others will also be workaholics. Learning to define work balance for you is crucial to setting good work boundaries.

However, what is important to note here is that this was a wonderful opportunity for Nancy to use her assertiveness skills to empathize and be curious about her boss.

There is a question about this woman and why she feels she cannot take the time off she is entitled to.

• Perhaps she does not know how to spend the time. She may need to learn to have some fun. Or she may not know how to enjoy herself with her family. There could be issues here (It’s the psych nurse in me that wonders about that!)
• Perhaps she gets her self-esteem from her work and, if she is not working, she feels she is not productive and has no value.

There are many other possibilities.

Sometimes, asking seems uncomfortable because you feel as though you are intruding.

You can phrase your curiosity in different ways. For instance, Nancy might have asked, “What trip are you planning to take this year?” Or “When are you taking your next vacation?”  

In this way, we shift the conversation to be about the other person rather than going into our own heads and creating fears and worries unnecessarily. (Nancy is entirely too close with her family to allow herself to become so wrapped up in work that she neglects the other parts of her life.)

The comment, “I didn’t use all of my vacation last year” opens a door for exploration. Your reply could be as simple as, “What are your plans this year to ensure you use it all up?”

It is so easy to get lost in our own thoughts that we get distracted and forget to consider what the other person is feeling or thinking. By asking a question, we allow the other person to open up and consider what they have just said.

Using empathy means you have no agenda or expectation for their response; you ask and are curious out of love and respect, not out of some kind of inquisition; you do not judge them or try to fix them, but merely ask to seek understanding of where they are coming from and what they are experiencing. 

When they sense that you really care about them, they will feel comfortable exploring this with you.

Try listening to what people are REALLY saying – what is lurking BEHIND the words? People don’t say what they really mean because they often don’t know.

Asking questions helps them to understand themselves better. And it deepens the connection you share with them because they feel heard and understood. And, because you took the time to care, they feel valued, and we all need more of that!

Your partner for success,

Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success

P.S. Want to learn how to be more empathetic? Schedule a free 30-minute coaching session to learn how.

P.S.S. Is empathy and compassion lacking in your organization? Contact me to learn how empathy coaching, workshops or presentations would help in your organization.

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