Do You Need to Prove Yourself?
Posted Under: Build Confidence and Self-Esteem
Where are you trying to prove yourself?
How much time and energy are you spending trying to see your own personal value through the eyes and acknowledgements of others?
In your struggle to find your personal value, do you ever get it? Do you ever get the approval you seek?
And when you do, how does it feel? Does the feeling last? Or do you feel the need to chase the approval again?
We may attempt to prove ourselves and our worth in many ways. Needing to prove ourselves can be insidious as we strive to be accepted. This is a basic human need.
For instance, you might take on extra projects with the intention of ‘looking good’ and impressing others. You might create drama or tell stories about how hard your life is to gain attention (victimhood). You might participate in unhealthy relationships or not speak up for yourself when you’ve been hurt.
However this shows up for you, you no longer need to prove yourself to anyone. This operating system began when you were young. It is how you learned to survive and get your needs met. It is not what you need now as an adult and a leader.
As a leader, looking to gain acceptance from others may show up as being unable to delegate or outsource. You may have difficulty handling conflict or challenging situations out of fear of NOT being accepted. You may question yourself and experience a lot of self-doubt. This not only increases your levels of stress and productivity, but also impacts your ability to lead and influence others.
When you accept that you are complete and whole, that you are not lacking in anyway, you stop looking outside yourself for something or someone to complete you.
When you operate from a need to prove your value, you seek attention and validation from outside sources and will keep looking for ways to prove yourself until the need is satisfied.
The problem is that, because you don’t believe in your own value – because you have not yet accepted yourself – you continue to look for it from elsewhere.
When you look outside yourself for validation of how you should be or act, you actually give your power away to some external person or thing! It is YOU who requires your approval and consideration.
The bottom line: be self-accepting. Recognize your value as a human being and how amazing you are. Become more self-appreciating and celebrate the qualities that make you special and unique.
You cannot find what you are looking for in something outside of you. You cannot buy enough stuff to make you happy; there will always be a longing for something more.
Here is your “Nurture Yourself” Coaching Challenge:
1) Spend some time looking for ways in which you seek approval from others. Journal about it.
2) Imagine how life would be different if you didn’t spend so much time and effort doing things in order to gain approval from elsewhere. You’d have more time and energy to put into doing other things, for instance. You’d also feel more confident.
3) When you recognize that you are seeking approval from someone else, instead, ask yourself how YOU might approve of yourself.
You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. You are whole and complete and wonderful.
Your partner for success,
Coach Julie ~ Nurturing Your Success
P.S. If this was an especially difficult post for you to read, then schedule a complimentary coaching strategy session with me and together, let’s break through this wall of resistance! Just send me an email with “I need a session!” in the subject line.
