Do You Wear Your Emotions on Your Sleeve?
The health care environment is so fast paced it is easy to become overwhelmed and frustrated. I see this often with nurses, social workers and other health care professionals. People will often let their emotions run amuck. How do you handle it when you become emotional at work?
Do you huff and puff? Stomp your feet? Give people the silent treatment?
Your huffing and puffing is witnessed by everyone. The scowl on your face makes strange marks on your forehead. Your eyes are as piercing as darts. And the energy around you is negative and very heavy. It makes people want to get out of your way – and fast!
Most people who demonstrate their emotions like this don’t realize they do it. And if you do realize it, you may not realize the impact it has on those around you.
People will have a hard time approaching you. The negative energy field you create keeps people away. They fear your bite.
Only 7% of our communication is words so it’s the other 93% that we need to pay closer attention to!
Body language speaks volumes.
It is disrespectful to you as well as others when you lack the appropriate awareness and ability to self-manage.
This disrespect creates a work environment where people are fearful and feel they must walk on eggshells around you. This causes morale and productivity issues. If it is a widespread problem, it can develop into a very unhealthy workplace (or home life).
This is not professional, and, as a leader, it’s time to learn some new skills. Stomping your feet is, after all, behavior for two-year-olds, not for adults!
There are two skills to master. Self-awareness is a crucial skill without which self-management is not possible.
ONE: Learn to pay attention to what you are feeling. Feelings are the messenger to inform you of what’s happening for you, empowering you to make better behavior choices.
- Check in with yourself to determine what emotions you are feeling. Do this regularly throughout the day.
- Notice how others react to you when you interact with them. Pay attention to other people’s behavior when they are with you or when you enter the room. Do they consistently get defensive? How do people behave in response to your behavior?
- Ask people for feedback on a regular basis. This may be difficult if you have trouble receiving feedback but it is really worthwhile because you learn specifically how your behavior makes them feel. This gives you good information about how your emotions and behavior is impacting them. This awareness can lead to behavior change.
TWO: Choose your behavior wisely. Instead of reacting automatically to your emotional state without consciously thinking about what you are doing or the impact it has, awareness empowers you with the ability to CHOOSE.
- How do you want others to feel when they are with you? By knowing the answer to this question, it can guide you to behave in a way that will bring this emotional state about during your interactions with others.
- How do you want others to perceive you? What are some of the qualities and characteristics that you would like to define you? (Choose three to start with.) By identifying these qualities and practicing living them, you develop them and, over time, you become known for them.
Managing your emotions is not easy. It is an ongoing process. But living without being in charge of them or at the mercy of them is not professional and can have a negative impact on your reputation.
Awareness and Choice are where your power lies! Use them. Don’t let your emotional state define your mood or your reactions. Instead, take charge! Take the Time to CARE about your reputation, your relationships and how your behavior impacts those around you. You’ll see improved results immediately as people learn that they can be more comfortable with you. People have a hard time dealing with other people’s emotional state. Don’t make them have to deal with yours.
Your partner for success,
Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success
P.S. Want to learn to better manage your emotional state? As a leader, you cannot afford to huff and puff; people won’t take you seriously! Contact me today to schedule a free coaching session to learn how coaching would benefit you.
