Eliminating Overwhelm Part IX: Embrace the Concept of “Easy” vs. “Hard”

“Why does it have to be so hard?” my client asked.

When life is hard, everything feels so heavy and burdensome. Nothing seems to be going well. It’s as if your mind sees only the bad, and even when you do see the good, you feel suspicious, as if something must not be right if life is calm and easy.

Somewhere along the way, you learned that life is supposed to be difficult and challenging. There’s supposed to be chaos and stress and overwhelm. If there’s not, then there is something wrong with that.

This is one reason people are so stressed and overwhelmed. We believe that we need to do it all and in the chase for “success,” we put pressure on ourselves and life is hard. As soon as we relax and things are calm, we pile more stuff on our plate to make it hard. We’re just used to life being challenging and difficult.

I asked the same questions several years ago. I was tired of living a ‘hard life’ so I asked a different question. I mean, who says that life has to be hard? Whether something is hard or easy is our perception anyway, true? Isn’t is possible that life could be easy and fun? I decided that it was worth it to find out and went in pursuit of ‘easy’. 

First, I needed to recognize that I was used to seeing the world a certain way; in order to change, I had to envision “easy”, identify the characteristics of someone who embraces life as easy, and then start living as if life were easy.

I had to become observant of the thoughts telling me something was hard or difficult or a struggle or that “I can’t” and then ask myself what “easy” would be like instead. It takes a lot of practice…

One challenge is dealing with other people’s beliefs about how hard life is. Like when I started dating people insisted that it would be hard, that all the good ones my age were taken. I embraced the notion that it could be easy, that he would just walk into my life. And you know what? He did! It took time, mind you. I found there are many single people out there of all ages. It all depends upon what you believe. And you must be patient. The universe works at it’s own pace.

What might change for you if you decided that life was easy from now on? How might YOU be different if life were easy?

Here are some thoughts to consider: 

• Let go of the thoughts of perfection. Perfect is hard. (I know this one all too well.)
• Let go of thoughts about not being enough. It’s okay for you to do less. More does not equal happiness.
• When things are hard, you are always busy and crazy. When things are easy, you are light, easy going, not pushing, and embracing reality.
• Embrace your own goodness and stop putting yourself down. Beating yourself up and being hard on yourself is, well, hard. There is no place for negative self-talk in “easy.” It costs time and energy.
• “Easy” is enjoying life and doing things you love. Allow yourself the luxury to do what feels good and let go of things that don’t feel good.
• Do less. Do only things that ad value to your life. You need to get better at saying “no”. And you will want to know your values and what’s most important to you so you can say “yes” to more of those things.
• It doesn’t mean you don’t work but perhaps you treat work as “play for pay” and have fun on your job.
• Easy doesn’t mean that you don’t experience rough patches. You’ll still have to deal with illness and death, pain and adversity.

It’s not what happens to you but rather how you face it that matters most.

But when you focus on “easy”, you learn to embrace reality and deal with whatever comes your way with style and grace. You face your feelings and grieve when appropriate. Laugh more. Take vacations and time off regularly to relax.  Take care of yourself to prevent bad things from occurring. Put yourself first.

It’s a challenge to take things in stride when everyone else around you is crazed. Take the lead and be a role model for others. And observe your fears. The shift from “hard” to “easy” will be a new experience outside your comfort zone. Fears are expected and are normal. Choose to move beyond them to achieve success.

Your partner for success,

Coach Julie ~ Nurturing Your Success