Eliminating Overwhelm: The Role of Drama in Creating Emotional Overwhelm
Last week, I had a curve ball thrown at me and over the course of a few days, things changed several times. There was a lot of drama! Back and forth. And there were legal considerations to take into account… it was a mess!
But through it all, what I noticed is that with each phone call and each new development, the thing itself brought about thoughts and judgments – “Is this good or bad? Is this what I want?” And it was these thoughts and judgments that provoked my emotional state.
When I was present and aware, I could monitor these emotional surges and act, not from the emotions, but rather from my head.
When I was overwhelmed and not present and aware, the anger or other emotion, would take over and I would not respond from the best place. I was emotional and unable to think reasonably about the new turn of events.
When your emotions take over, your mind gets left behind.
Much of what causes overwhelm is how you feel about what is happening, rather than the actual situation itself.
Your thoughts generate emotions.
Neurotransmitters (chemicals in the brain) are released into the bloodstream causing a physiological, or physical, response. This is linked to a certain set of behaviors that follow automatically. It’s the way you always respond; you have been trained to experience this same reaction time and again and every time it happens, you reinforce the habit.
For example, if when you get angry, you yell and your blood pressure rises, then that’s what you’ll do every time unless you stop the habit. Unless you are very present and aware, these emotions can and will overwhelm you.
Your thoughts also judge.
If you perceive the situation as bad or difficult, you might become angry or upset. If you perceive the circumstances as good, you might experience exhilaration and excitement, which can set you up for a big tumble should things not turn out as expected. Either way, the judgment causes an emotional reaction and can take you on an emotional rollercoaster.
The emotions and how you perceive the situation – your judgment – create the drama.
You can shift very quickly from everything is wonderful to everything is horrible in an instant. When people tell you a story, they add the drama by getting you to feel the emotions that they were feeling during the situation. Imagining the intensity of the moment and experiencing the horror or the excitement or the anticipation or fear is where drama comes from.
In the movies or on TV, this stuff is great!
But when dealing with real life situations, it only serves to diminish your capacity to think clearly and make good choices. You cannot think and feel at the same time so if you are emotional, your brain is unable to process thoughts to come to logical conclusions. Because you cannot problem-solve when you are emotional, allowing your emotions to sweep you away results in overwhelm and causes you to react in ways that might require you to apologize for later. That is not a productive way of dealing with life’s curve balls. It wastes time and causes discord in relationships.
Your first thoughts trigger the emotional response so pay attention to them and think new ones while you are still of rational mind. Or, if you do experience the emotion, take notice of the emotion and breathe through it. Stop it in its tracks before you react. Asking practical questions helps to keep your conscious mind engaged so you can think and make good choices.
Emotional overwhelm takes a lot energy so take good care of yourself and plan time to rest.
Emotions are wonderful messengers but if you do not remain in charge, they will take over. Be the boss of your emotions and limit the drama you allow into your daily life. You’ll find that life goes much smoother when you keep the highs and the lows at bay and remain calm, cool, and collected.
If you’d like to discuss this further or get some support in learning to better manage your emotional reactions, contact me at Julie@NurturingYourSuccess.com to arrange a free coaching session.
Your partner for success,
Coach Julie ~ Nurturing Your Success
