Free Yourself and Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy

Every so often a book crosses my desk that is so compelling, so enlightening, that I like to share it. Last year, I saw Debbie Ford at Transformations in Voorhees, NJ as she promoted her new book, “Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy.” – A great title, isn’t it?

The book details the shame, fear, and guilt we harbor because of our wounded egos and explains how our egos become wounded in the first place. She ends the book with practicing forgiveness and retuning to love – returning to ourselves.

The path to authenticity is laden with a rough ride through the murkiness of our experiences.

We learn to hide our true nature behind curtains of what I like to call the “muck” – the shame, guilt, hurt, pain, unmet needs, etc. Debbie refers to this as the mask we wear when we face the world. To become authentic, we must take off the mask and uncover our true nature, unleash our true potential, and learn to free ourselves from our prisons so we can soar.

As Debbie so eloquently shares, the mask we show the world often blames and judges others in the very ways that we are hurting ourselves. Someone who loudly opposes prostitution might secretly be indulging in it.

The mask is the public face; the pain we suffer silently in private.

To become genuine and to lift the burden we carry when we have parts of ourselves that we cannot accept, requires advanced personal development.

It is not for the lighthearted, and yet, it is precisely what we all seek: To be free from the bondages of pain, guilt, fear and shame. We want so dearly to accept ourselves and be at peace, to reclaim our power and be comfortable with ourselves. The only way to achieve that is to dive into ourselves and that requires coaching and guidance.

You are your own worst enemy when you don’t honor yourself –

• When you allow fear or guilt to motivate you rather that operating out of choice
• When you do not speak up for yourself due to fear of not being liked, or because you don’t believe you have the right to your own voice
• When you cannot accept your own value, the value of your work, or your accomplishments – you believe no matter what you do you are not enough

Freeing yourself from these tethers –

• Needing to impress others in order to compensate for feelings of self-doubt,
• Living behind a mask of pretence and self-deception in order to gain acceptance from others, and
• Fearing consequences and rejection if you are your real self

– is not an easy path to travel, but it is the most worthwhile journey you can take yourself on in this lifetime.

This is the path to self-acceptance and self-love. The freedom to be YOU awaits you…

How do you start upon the path? Engaging the services of a coach speeds the process but it starts with awareness – become an observer of your thoughts and your feelings. Use a journal to assist you. The true power is in CHOICE but a choice is only a choice when you know you have one. Awareness comes first.

The goal is to become aware of your thoughts, uncover your blind spots, and understand the deep-rooted beliefs that govern your behaviors often unbeknownst to you. It is this awareness that affords you the opportunity to make better, more supportive and loving choices.

In the end, you’ll need to learn to embrace your goodness and set yourself free from the [tethers] that bind you and clear away the muck that hides your power, your strength, and the real YOU.

It is very exciting when you feel the load of life lift, when you learn to let go of shame and fear and stop having your life be controlled by them like a puppet. You open yourself up to the love you so desire and need to fill you up.

Nurturing Your Success is dedicated to helping you unlock your potential and free yourself to be the real YOU. If you’d like to arrange a free coaching session or take an assessment to identify the negative and sabotaging thought patterns that are keeping you from experiencing your true self, send me an email Julie@NurturingYourSuccess.com so we can get you on your path to freedom.

If you do not do this for yourself, who will? And if not now, when?

Your partner for success,

Coach Julie ~ Nurturing Your Success