Have Realistic Expectations for Change

As you embark upon your new path for change, set realistic expectations for success. Otherwise, you set yourself up for anger and disappointment which may lead you to quit prematurely.

Unrealistic expectations are a huge source of pain and stress as you create change in your life.

For instance, thinking that you could reverse your debt in a month when it took you years to get indebted, is unrealistic. Even if it were possible, you would find yourself back in debt in no time for you will have not learned the necessary lessons to maintain a debt-free lifestyle.

Change takes time. How much time may not be known, however, setting yourself up for disappointment could sabotage you and your efforts.

Believing that you can accomplish a change but having unrealistic expectations causes disappointment, anger and frustration. There is disconnect between what you think you should have and what it actually takes in order to achieve success. This is a game your mind plays with you and it’s not fun. You set yourself up to feel bad and be disappointed because there is no chance for success.

Change requires work. It will take time to unlearn the habits that got you where you are now and create new behaviors and habits to achieve something new. There is no instant success.

Just because you’ve decided it’s time for change and are committed to making it happen does not mean your life is [instantly] different. YOU may be different, but your external world isn’t.

There is a gap that occurs between when you set your mind on change and the change actually becomes reality. There is an internal shift that takes place first THEN your external world shifts to meet up with your new mindset.

This gap is where we become frustrated. After all, YOU are ready; why can’t you just be there already!

It doesn’t work that way. You have to travel the gap. No short cuts allowed. Lessons must be learned along the way.

• Figure out what it takes to travel the gap,
• Set realistic expectations for achieving and accomplishing the steps required to get to the other side, and then
• Take the first step!

Sometimes, you set realistic expectations but they turn out to be unrealistic. Be open to this and make adjustments.

For example, Betsy never met her sales goals. Month after month, she fell short and was embarrassed in front of her team. The sales goals were established by ‘the powers that be’ in her company. They would set high expectations so that people would work harder and harder. She had other responsibilities (like kids and a house to manage) and preferred to balance work with home life. She finally shifted her goals to be more realistic to fit her lifestyle and the time she was willing to out into sales. Now she meets her goals every month and it feels great.

Sometimes, you set realistic expectations and something unexpected happens outside your control.

For example, you are ready to retire but with the downturn in the economy, you are nervous about your level of savings. You decide it is best to continue to work for another few years.

You can only do what you can do. Focusing on and getting angry about things outside your control will not serve you.

Best to focus your attention and actions on what you CAN control, do the best you can, and make adjustments when necessary.

The message anger sends you is that something needs to be accepted. If you are angry, ask yourself what you need to accept about your situation. Frustration is a form of anger. It’s like walking into a wall and hitting your head over and over again hoping the wall will move out of your way!

Accept your reality and change direction. Set realistic expectations for success and then, let it go. Focus on your efforts and taking the next step for success.

You cannot control the outcome – only the process and what you do to move you toward your destination. Dissappointment occurs in response to unmet expectations. If you feel disappointed, check your expectations. Perhaps they are unrealistic for you at this time given outside forces. Ask what needs to be accepted about your reality, set different goals and change course if needed.

Call me if you need assistance.

Your partner for success,

Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success

PS – If you are attempting a big life change and would like some assistance, I am taking on TWO NEW CLIENTS who are interested in having a coach work with them as they take this change. As I write my book on “Motivating Yourself to Change”, you will be helping me create content for the book. If NOW IS THE TIME and you are READY TO GO FOR IT, contact me today to schedule a free coaching session. I look forward to hearing from you!