How to Free Yourself from Guilt
Guilt keeps you stuck.
It burns you up inside until you have no choice but to comply with whatever it is telling you is right. And you cannot move forward.
“Stuckness” refers to an overwhelming feeling of not having choices. You are paralyzed by your thinking.
Sometimes, guilt occurs BEFORE you change something in your life.
Guilt causes you to stop, take heed, and don’t change. There is no clear reason why you shouldn’t change things; Guilt simply doesn’t want things to be different.
Guilt doesn’t give reasons; guilt’s job is to tame you and keep things safely in your comfort zone. It likes the status quo, you see. Who do you think you are to change what it is accustomed to?
Consider this: you are fed up and want change. You decide you can no longer continue this way and you begin to take steps to change your circumstances.
BUT, you feel guilty about changing – you’ll disappoint people, what will other people do without you, blah, blah – so you hem and haw and finally, you recommit to the way things are now. Guilt holds you back from moving forward.
It becomes a vicious cycle of pain, struggle and heartache. You are a prisoner to Guilt.
Coaching Strategy for Success: Move beyond your guilt by giving yourself the POWER TO CHOOSE. Do what is best for you because you want to, not because you think you have to. Even things that are your responsibilities (have tos) are choices. You never have to; you choose to.
Guilt can also show up AFTER you’ve made your change. You left your husband. You changed jobs. You moved across country.
But you feel guilty about your decision and, since it is too late, the change has already been made; the guilt serves to keep you unhappy, miserable and well, stuck. You are not free to enjoy the changes you’ve made. This thinking keeps you focused on the past and wishing things were different…
Even if you are glad that you are not where you were!
Consider life as a journey of a thousand miles. Guilt has you looking behind you at what happened before. Being at choice means you are present and focused on what is here NOW.
You cannot change the past; there are no choices there. You either accept the past, or drag it with you into today.
By giving yourself permission to choose, you open yourself up to possibilities for a better future – and a more enjoyable today.
Guilt assumes that what you did was wrong and, therefore, YOU are wrong, bad and should be punished.
That’s guilt; it’s a form of self-punishment.
Coaching Strategy for Success: Move beyond your guilt by opening up to NEW PERSPECTIVES about your past behavior. What if you’re actions were perfect? What if the actions you took were important and essential – that you did the right thing and it was very brave? Hmmm…
Possibility thinking offers a new perspective and works to shift your focus from beating yourself up to opening yourself up. And once you are open, you are at choice and in command – rather than at the mercy of your Guilt – and you can move forward.
Your partner for success,
Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success
PS – Got guilt? Schedule a free 30-minute coaching session to learn how coaching can help free you from your guilt and embrace happiness.
