I Admit Defeat
Posted Under: Manage Your Stress,Succeed in Wealth and Work
I cannot do it any longer. There is not enough time in the day – I feel overwhelmed and something has to give. So I finally broke down and hired someone to clean my home.
Whew. Now I can breathe.
Overwhelm is a wonderful opportunity to identify areas that need attention. It is time for CHANGE! I must let go of old thinking and welcome someone else to clean my home. She will most assuredly do a better job than me because cleaning is not my specialty.
In The Journey Called YOU, I introduce the Time Enjoyment Model© where we compare ”skilled” with “enjoyment”. Quadrant four is anything you do that you do not do well and you hate doing. These activities cause stress and should be outsourced when possible. This quadrant is where the least amount of your time should be spent because you will not enjoy yourself here.
Quadrant one, however, is time spent doing things you are good at AND enjoy doing. This is where your work and most of your activities should fall because this is where you will excel AND have fun.
People who structure their lives doing only the things they do well and enjoy doing have a great life! They perform at a level of excellence, are highly paid and have fun!
Quadrant two is where you have little skill but have fun – this could refer to hobbies or to something you are just learning. A little time here is okay.
People who spend too much time in Quadrant three are often unhappy. This is where you are skilled but you are not enjoying what you do. This could be a great job that pays well but you hate it. Not a very comfortable place to be…
Admitting defeat, in my example, means that I have finally surrendered to my reality. If I want to keep working out and planning my meals in addition to taking care of my family and clients – and writing my new book - then I need to create some space in my time. I need to delegate or outsource some things that take up my time - things I do not need to do myself.
How do you know what to delegate?
Look at what frustrates or stresses you. Identify things that fall into Quadrant four – Unhappy and Unskilled. Ask the following questions:
- Am I the best one for the job? If not, who is?
- Can someone else do this job for me? Will they be able to perform the task in a way to produce an acceptable outcome?
- Is this something I want someone else to do? Or do I prefer to do it myself? (This gives me the choice.)
- Do I have the time, energy and resources to commit to this?
- What do I value in this situation? In other words, what is most important here?
- What would be the costs to do it myself vs. delegating or outsourcing?
- What are the benefits?
- What do I need to let go of (such as control or limiting beliefs – ‘women should be able to bring home the bacon AND clean AND cook AND be the family chauffeur you know’)
In this example, I value cleanliness. I enjoy having a neat and clean home. I am not the best one for the job and, if I want time to do other things that I would not outsource or delegate, such as working out (can you delegate that??) or coaching, then cleaning is one area that could easily be outsourced. The kids would never be able to perform up to standards so forget delegating! I can hire someone quite reasonably as to make hubby happy that it fits in the budget.
And the best part - the woman I hired is SO excited to clean my home! I gave her a job.
When we give up something that causes us struggle and strife, we find someone who, for them, this task falls into their Quadrant one – is skilled AND enjoys it. That’s how things work.
So today, I let go of needing to be the one to clean my own home – the limiting belief that I have to do it myself. And it feels pretty darn good. I know it will feel GREAT after she cleans for the first time and then, knowing I won’t have to do it the following week, ah, tears of joy start flowing just thinking about it.
Why did I wait so long and suffer so much??? I wasn’t ready to let go until now…
What are you holding onto that you could outsource or delegate? I’d love to hear your story. Leave your comments below or send me an email Julie@NurturingYourSuccess.com. I look forward to hearing from you.
Your partner for success,
Coach Julie RN ~ Nurturing Your Success
Reader Comments
I had to let go of a manuscript that I wrote a long time ago. I finally hired a firm to handle it for me. For a long time I held onto it because I felt who would want to read it. Or I could handle it myself by submitting letters to publishing houses. Myself mind you. That was not working. Me holding onto it and me thinking I could handle it myself if I wanted it published. The real deal was I didn’t think myself important enough or it wasn’t good enough for anyone to even see it. Then when I finally got someone to handle it…I tried to tell him his job. Now I just leave it alone and let him handle it. Trusting God that something good will come of it. I think it is a good story, hopefully someone else will too.
I think sometimes admitting is not the end; it’s really a start. It’s like trying to break free all along, from a chain you know you can break, but finally coming to the realization that it’s ok use the key that’s right next to you.
You’re right, Francis. It is a new beginning. And that’s what endings do, they bring us to the beginning of something new. And I can honestly say I LOVE having my house cleaned at the end of the day! It is very freeing…