Increase Your Productivity (and Self-Esteem) by Learning to Say “No”

When you have difficulty saying “no,” you wind up stressed and overwhelmed with too much to do and not enough time to get it all done.

You frantically race around trying to complete tasks that may not even be your responsibility or in your area of expertise. This means, your productivity suffers because you cannot get done what you need to do – what you should be doing.

To make matters worse, in the midst of the chaos, your thoughts pester you

“Why did you agree to do this? You know you’re not good at it.”
“You’ll never get this done in time.”
“You always get yourself in this kind of mess.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“What are people going to say about me?”

Blah, blah, blah

And, while you’re listening to these thoughts, you’re not focused on getting done the work which decreases your productivity and impacts your self-esteem as well. The thoughts distract you from being productive.

So on one hand you’re feeling overwhelmed with too much on your plate. And on the other hand, you’re feeling bad about yourself. What’s a person to do?

Obviously, what you have on your plate now will need to be managed. Perhaps you can delegate or even eliminate some of the items. Overwhelm signifies a need to simplify.

The key, however, in the long run, is to not take on too much in the first place.

Before committing to something new, make sure you are willing, able, and want to do the necessary work and have the required workforce or resources to complete the task. If you don’t want to do it, if you already have too much on your calendar, then give yourself permission to say “no”.

~ The Journey Called YOU

Does the idea of turning someone down or saying “no” make you feel squeamish? Notice the thoughts that come up for you. What are you afraid of? What is it that you gain by saying yes? You must gain something or else it would be easy to say “no.”

Some of the reasons people acknowledge:

• You are accustomed to doing what you are told (the good girl/boy syndrome).
• The guilt of saying “no” is too overwhelming.
• You need to be liked.
• You need to prove your value.
• You need to please others.
• It has become habit. You say “yes” so quickly that you didn’t give yourself a chance to assess the situation.

Here’s your coaching tip for increasing productivity and feeling better about yourself:

1) Pause before answering any request. Give yourself the time you need to consider if this is a good use of your time and talents. It can be an hour or 24 hours but don’t agree to anything right away. Tell them you’ll get back in touch with an answer.

2) Agree to do things for the right reason. Is this something that adds value to you and your life? Is it part of your vision for success? Is it what you want to be doing?

3) Check your thoughts and the emotions that come up as you contemplate the request. Don’t be afraid of declining the request if it’s not right for you at this time. You can thank them for thinking of you.

Doing things for the wrong reasons makes us feel angry and resentful.

Resentment is anger at yourself for not doing what you need to do to care for yourself. It’s a signal that you are not honoring yourself in some way. It usually means you need to speak up and ask for what you need.

Anger can signify that you wish they wouldn’t ask you to do something you don’t want to do so you can avoid the painful exercise of having to say “no.” You assume they know this. After all, people should know what you like and what you don’t. Shouldn’t they??!!

The reality is that people can ask of you whatever they want. You have no control over other people or their requests. Your responsibility is to speak up for yourself and learn to communicate effectively about how you like to spend your time.

Learning to say “no” increases your self-esteem, gives you more energy, allows you to complete your other projects and frees up time for more enjoyable things. Learning to say “no” is not selfish; it’s a requirement for effective life management and maximum enjoyment.

~ The Journey Called YOU

Til next time, think good thoughts.

Your partner for success,

Julie