Eliminating Overwhelm: Life Throws Me a Curve Ball, I Swing Back

On Friday, we received the call that my fiancé’s two boys would be moving in with us by the end of the week. Suddenly, everything changes. What will this mean for us? How will this impact our budding family?

Excitement. Fear. Sadness. Anger at how this occurred so abruptly and without any warning. His older son has recently been diagnosed with autism – (they think. We are still working on getting a definitive diagnosis.)

What will this mean for my son who has been an only child for so long? And what about my relationship with Lou? What about our dreams and plans? How will we manage financially?

It all seems so surreal…

As I step into this new reality and prepare for their arrival, many thoughts creep in such as things we need to do, how to prepare, what to be mindful of, what resources and assistance will we need. For each of us, including each of the boys, this is a huge change. What kind of support does Lou need? What does my son need? And what will the boys need from me as their new “step-mom-to-be”? What do I need from myself in order to remain healthy and able? 

I must balance giving to others with giving to myself.

I, too, will need to receive support – I thank God for my Coach Sheila, my 6 Advisors Partner Teresa, and my blogging coach Scott. I know that they will help to keep me sane over the next few months and help me to stay focused on my own personal goals and vision for success. I hope you, too, as my clients, colleagues, and friends will comment, and provide feedback, encouragement and support.

I do not feel alone. I feel the presence of forces that will sustain and nurture us. I know that we will be guided and provided for so long as we stay focused and act in alignment with the laws of the universe. We have each other AND we have so many wonderful people that we know and whose talent and expertise we now need to tap into.

We will need to ask for help.

This will test our relationship and commitment to each other. We start making a list of the immediate things that need to happen such as making sure everyone has a place to sleep, school, doctors, legal documentation, activities – heck, even clothes, shoes, the basics – they come to us with the clothes on their back. It is overwhelming!

As the overwhelm starts to build, I breathe and refocus my thoughts on the here and now: what do I need to do in this moment? By staying focused on the here and now, I can stay out of the emotional drama that could erupt if I allowed it to. If I stay in the NOW, then I can handle what is first, then what comes next…

The drama of the story is all very exciting. It’s what makes for a good soap opera or movie. And when we allow ourselves to go there, we lose focus and actually create more drama and more overwhelm and stress.

Coaching Tip (to me)  : Stay focused on what I can control and what needs to get done today. Allow myself to honor the emotions that come up without letting them take over. Ask myself some key questions about who will get the job done – is it me, can I delegate, or do I need to ask for help from some other resource? Who do I know who can help us or who do we know who knows someone who can assist?

This is a huge life event for each of us and while it is scary, it is also very exciting. We are looking forward to having these two wonderful and amazing children (13 & 16 years old) in our home fulltime. As for Lou and I, we will, more than ever, need to share our feelings, talk things through, be patient and understanding, and lean on each other. Our love and the desire and vision we have for a healthy, mature, love relationship will help guide us on this journey.

Isn’t this what building a successful life is all about?

We can make grand plans for our lives but God may have different plans. He throws us curve balls to test us, to challenge us and we have to step up to the plate. God gives us what we can handle – and to some of us, He gives more because we can handle more. I believe that we are prepared and that life is what we make of it. We will create a fabulous family unit because it is what we want.

I am very grateful for all of you – your support and continued encouragement. Things will continue as usual – I will continue to nurture YOUR success through coaching and writing. We will continue this successful life journey together.

Thank you for listening to my story today and for the opportunity to be of service. It’s my pleasure. May you find strength in the joys you have to experience today as I find strength in sharing with you.

Your partner for success,

Coach Julie ~ Nurturing Your Success