Powerful Communication: Apology Dos and Don’ts
Do you apologize for anything and everything?
Do you apologize for things that are completely out of your control?
How about apologizing for other people’s behavior?
Do you tend to apologize just to see if the other person will apologize?
An apology can be a very cathartic act. It can mend fences and build bridges. It is an act of a true leader when you are able to admit a wrong or mistake.
An apology done well is powerful. For this reason, making an apology should be taken very seriously.
When they are thrown around without much thought, they lose their potency. An empty apology does not serve you but rather can diminish the respect others have for you.
Why do we struggle so much with apologies?
1) Some people don’t ever want to admit they are wrong. This relates to their self-esteem, although they might not admit it. Human beings are of greatest value. When a person cannot accept their value, they seek something external to give them the validation they need. Often people’s value is attached to their ideas. To the person whose self-esteem is attached to their ideas, admitting you are wrong means that YOU are wrong and you cannot NOT have value.
2) Other people don’t want to be seen as weak. They don’t want to make a mistake. They seek perfection. To admit fault is to admit failure, in their perspective. They value appearances over truth and humility.
3) And others apologize for everything. Guilt, shame, needing to be liked or needed, or fear of confrontation or conflict causes them to accept responsibility for everything. Their fear is in charge and they are at Fear’s mercy.
How well do you do with apologizing? Here are some dos and don’ts for making an apology:
Your partner for success,
Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success
P.S. Want to learn to be a more powerful communicator? Contact me to schedule a free coaching session today to learn how coaching can benefit you.
