Three Steps to Bust Your Limiting Beliefs!

This post was written by CoachJulieRN on February 17, 2010
Posted Under: Be More Assertive

Only three, you ask? Well, I could make up more if you like but, really, it’s very simple. We just tend to make life hard for ourselves.

Limiting beliefs are out-dated and hurtful habits of thought that are often unknown to you. The impact of them, however, causes your discomfort and discontent. Because they are self-imposed, in other words, you have power over your thoughts – they are yours and they are in your brain – the good news is that you can change them.

Step One: Name it. What is your limiting belief?

Often, you will hear yourself use definitive language such as always, never, will/won’t, or can’t. Listen to the language you use during the course of your day. In what ways are you limiting yourself with these thoughts?

Your beliefs have a tremendous amount of power as they guide your daily living.

The challenge: recognizing and identifying the limitation. The problem is that you live like this belief is truth and have been for a long time – perhaps even since you were a child – so it has become “who you are” and “how you think.”

Coaching tip: pay close attention to how you think and talk about people, things, ideas, and places. Shift from being closed-minded to becoming open to revisit and explore your thoughts and perspectives about, well, everything. You can always choose to keep your old beliefs; this step is merely about naming the beliefs, giving you the power to choose. Otherwise, you remain a slave.

Step Two: That may have been true until now…

Once you name the limiting belief, for instance, “I will never be promoted”, then add the word “YET” to the end of the sentence. “I have not YET been promoted to the job I desire.”

“I have not YET met my future spouse.”

“I have not YET become a doctor.”

“I have not YET saved a million dollars.”

This puts the power back in your hands. Until now, the belief that you were not good enough, smart enough, quick enough or rich enough has been running your life and holding you back from achieving something else – something MORE.

You see, whatever you believe – whatever you THINK about – becomes true. So if your limiting belief is that you will never be promoted then you won’t be, because you won’t take the necessary steps, do the things, or become the kind of person you need to become in order to be promoted because, well, you don’t believe it’s even possible! So why bother?

After my divorce, I used to say, “I’ll never get married.” Of course, my mother would remind me, “Never say ‘never’. You never know.” And one day, finally, I agreed with her. I didn’t realize that my words were limiting me. So long as I believed I would never marry, that was true. I hadn’t really considered what I wanted for my life; I was merely holding on to the bitterness that I felt when the relationship ended. As soon as I let go of that belief, I was able to allow love to (re)enter my life.

Coaching tip: you have not YET learned what it takes to be promoted. Not yet…

Step Three: Now what? What do you want to believe instead?

This gives you back the power to create the belief that will work for you moving forward. Ask yourself ‘is the old belief working for you?’ If you are not achieving the results you want, then chances are really good that it’s your beliefs – your thoughts – that need a changing.

Kelly was a great leader at work but felt truly powerless at home. She felt disrespected and would avoid spending time with her family. It was a problem. We discovered a belief she held about men and their role in the home. She held that men should take the lead and that women should be more passive – something she learned from her mother.