Who Intimidates You?

Some nurses are intimidated by families or doctors. Many adults continue to be intimidated by their parents. Some people are intimidated by people in authority.

Who – or what – intimidates you?

Interestingly, many people will find themselves intimidated by a particular person such as a boss or person with a particular title – the CEO, COO, CFO, etc. Others feel uncomfortable with a group of people such as doctors, police or any person in uniform. Still others are intimidated by the opposite sex.

This uncomfortable feeling of intimidation causes you to shrink and,  not speak up to the person in a way that is appropriate because of your fear.

• In your daily life, how does this feeling of intimidation show up?
• Are there people you are fearful of?
• Are there certain behaviors that cause you to feel intimidated?
• What happens to you when you interact with them?
  

NOTE: There are those who intimidate on purpose (or try to). Often, however, fear can arise in you by no fault of the other person. YOUR feelings of fear are important for you to become aware of as well as the triggering event that evoked the emotion. Use a journal or your coach to identify circumstances when this occurs.

Notice how this dynamic shows up for you:

• What is it you are fearful of?
• Is it a kind of person?
• Is it how they speak or what they say, the position they hold, the power they have over you/your life?
• Is it a particular situation?
• Or is it simply because the person is so confident and comfortable with themselves?
  

Sometimes, when people have very high self-esteem, you can be intimidated by their energy or self-confidence. It’s not what they do, just how they show up and they may not realize they are intimidating anyone.

Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. So let’s look at what you fear so you can take back your power.

When you feel intimidated, you are OVERVALUING the person, the uniform or another quality. This means that in your perspective, you are undervaluing your own worth and overvaluing something else.

For example, if you are intimidated by your boss, you overvalue the position or title and undervalue her as a human being. If you are intimidated by the opposite sex, you are overvaluing their “sex” and undervaluing you and your ability to speak with and have a relationship with them.

Adults who continue to be intimidated by their parents overvalue them as authority figures. Maintaining the dynamic they created in childhood, the relationship continues as hierarchical giving the parents control where it (hopefully) no longer exists.

Recognize that no person has greater value than any other person – we all have the same value as human beings. Our deeds may seem to increase the value of one’s worth over another, but if we strip down all of the external stuff, essentially, we are all human with a heart, blood, a brain, and emotions.

Working to increase your self-esteem, appropriately value yourself and feel good about who you are in the world will help tremendously to put things in proper perspective and enable you to be more assertive and more comfortable around others.

Then when someone does act in an intimidating fashion, you will be more capable of asserting yourself professionally and teaching others how to communicate with you effectively.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Post your comments below.

Your partner for success,

Coach Julie, RN ~ Nurturing Your Success

P.S. Want to feel less intimidated and fearful and become more assertive and confident? Schedule a free coaching session to discuss practical ways to develop yourself.